Yesterday I was talking about conflicting ideas and philosophies on my LinkedIn live. I gave an analogy of parents and teenagers which was an attempt to help people understand relationship between business owners and their brands. I don't feel like I made a good job of explaining depth of communication problems between adults and teenagers. So today I am continuing my thoughts on this by introducing the concept of human volcanos. I think will prepare much better for my next live stream by writing ideas down in this blog regularly.
More than that, I think it is a very good habit to write an article on the subject before going live on any platform. So I am acting on my decision to do so right now. It feels a bit uncomfortable because lazy part of my brain is trying to find heavy weight reasons to stop development of this new habit. But I'm pretty sure it's going to fail because the part of brain, which much more conscious, is exited about new intellectual discoveries I am going to face by engaging in this activity. I remember I used to love writing freestyle assays in high school even sometime I was hitting creative roadblocks and it felt like I couldn't find the right words to express my thoughts.
So here we go with the continuation of yesterday's monolog. It is going to be about personality development, external influences and shape of the character. I came up with the title of "Human Volcanos" for this because we, people, explode emotionally, verbally and physically form time to time. We build mental walls and barriers for self protection. Sometimes we try to protect ourselves from external forces and sometimes we hide from our own internal demons. This mechanism helps us short-term but it is growing into chronic conditions way to often.
Let's go back to the example of parents and teenagers. Yesterday I said that there is the right time to talk and there is the right time to keep quiet. But I didn't explain that parents often get angry at growing kids who start having their own opinions and views. This kind of parents avoid certain communications for months or even years. They falsely assume that it's not the right time to talk about personal values, patriotism or sexual education with their kids. They procrastinate these conversations until it's too late to make a meaningful impact. Unfortunately they start trying to do this when they see their kids becoming adults - the time when these young people start forming their own views and making their own choices. This is the mistake of chasing the past which multiplies the impact of the past mistakes sadly.
But it's completely unwise to blame these parents because they weren't thought how to properly educate their children. They are simply modelling the process of education they went through when they were teenagers. Well, not exactly the same process - with some new cultural alterations and some new experiments of their own. But the fact is, that core behaviour stays the same because children copy and model psychological patterns of their parents.
Parents often tend to forget that their own flaws do damage their children future this way. So shouting at the rebelling teenager is the worst action course for the adult. It entrenches youngster in their own thoughts which creates unnecessary emotional defence mechanisms. This blocks healthy development of the personality and could trigger many chronic mental conditions. It might seem ok on the surface, but these traumas are actually paving the way for many painful experiences in the future. It might include depression, addictions, self-worth problems, difficulties with making firm decisions causing frustration in personal and professional life.
In my opinion we need to break this ugly cycle which feeds human volcanos. It's good to have healthy boundaries but these boundaries become walls for human volcanos too often in our societies. These walls protect from negativity and uncomfortable conversations but they also isolate us and trap our minds in the loneliness. Trapped thoughts might boil inside us for many years until we explode just like real life volcanos. We spill anger and frustration, it burns and destroys relationships. Not all volcanos are big and dangerous, but sometimes even the smallest eruption can damage sensitive soul permanently. This happens to the kids and when they grow up - explode onto the next generation and so on. The question is: how can we stop this cycle?
The answer lies education and timely conversations.
Thank you for reading.
Your friend, Evaldaz